I have a photo shoot today. As mentioned before, I suck sh-t at photo shoots. It’s because I can be extremely UNphotogenic. To the point where our etalk publicists have created a “DO NOT EVER OPEN OR USE OR EVEN LOOK AT” folder full of my old pictures that they hit up sometimes when they need a good laugh. Or want to throw up their lunch.

Those who can do photo shoots are able to turn it on in the moment. It’s true what they say: you have to make love to the camera. Or, in Halle Berry’s case, just stand there and do nothing.

I mean f-ck.

Look at her.

Halle and Gabriel Aubry were in New York last night for the Keep A Child Alive Black Ball. Like it’s not enough that they were created so perfectly individually, then they had to go and find each other. And that child. That child. Also known as the Giant F-ck You to my Celebrity Baby Theory, oh that child, sweet Nahla.

Remember when Life & Style reported she was pregnant. And she wasn’t?

Yeah.

Why isn’t that infamous Ewan McGregor Halle Berry moment on YouTube? I’ve written about it before but for those who missed it – Ewan was being interviewed at an awards show a few years ago, around the time Halle won her Oscar, maybe just before. When she walked into his eyeline, he stopped mid-sentence and could not continue, and then this while camera’s rolling:

“Isn`t Halle Berry the most beautiful woman? I have a film I`d like to be in her with. I mean, I`d like to be with her in.”

Oh hush prudes. Close your mouths and remove your hands from your faces. The man who tells you he doesn’t automatically picture every woman naked is instead picturing every man naked. Or a liar.


Photos from Flynetonline.com and Wenn.com