Dear Gossips,

So… remember in the weeks leading up to the Oscars we kept talking about how this was the tightest race in years, across several major categories? Well, it happened in the most unexpected f-cking way. And yes, of course, we will get to the Best Picture clusterf-ck, of course we will. We will get to it early. So if you’re joining us late in the morning, please scroll down and click through the pages to find the post. Duana and I have been posting since a couple of hours after the Oscars ended so you may need to get caught up.

But for some reason, you know what line from a movie came to mind? It’s a F-cking Aaron Sorkin movie – The American President, near the end of the film, when the President shows up unannounced in the press room and defends his girlfriend and finally criticises his opponent, Bob Rumson, right before the State of the Union. And then Michael J Fox’s Lewis leaves the presser with all kinds of writer-nerd enthusiasm. And Martin Sheen’s AJ tells him they need a new draft:

He's got the whole White House Press Corps asking each other how to spell "erudite"!

Lewis, call the printer.

I know. Gotta rewrite the State of the Union.

Every word, Lewis. It's a whole new ball game. You've got 35 minutes.

Oh, good. I thought I was gonna be rushed.

That’s probably too inside-baseball because it applies to what Duana and I had planned – before That Moment – when we were lining up the articles for today. And so, of course, when it went down like that, we had to throw out the lineup and do a whole new rundown. But even still, the way you will think back on this Oscars, the way you are talking about these Oscars, the way you are debating these Oscars has totally changed now right? I mean, you barely remember the subtle and not-so-subtle political messages. You barely remember what you cried about or even laughed about. Because all you are fixating on is WHAT THE F-CK IS GOING ON WITH BEST PICTURE??? Somewhere out there, there’s a person smarter than all of us who can draw the parallel between the Hollywood stage and the White House stage. I’ll leave that to them.

In this space we have sympathy for Warren Beatty. It was imperfect, certainly. And many things still need to be explained. But if you watch it back… and I’m sure a lot of you have watched it back…

…he is immediately confused. He looks into the envelope for another card. He knows the white card he has in hand isn’t the right one. At this point, I thought, maybe, he was just being a grandpa. Especially when Faye’s chiding him all, “You’re impossible”, like there he goes again, making a lame joke.


My point though is that Warren’s not the one. Have mercy on Warren. From Warren’s point of view, it would have been unfathomable for the Academy to have made such a monumental mistake. But here we are – the organisation that considers itself the paragon of perfection, for the second year in a row, has egg on its face. And now has something in common with the Miss Universe pageant.

So we’ll get to all that. And we’ll get to the dress porn. And we’ll fight about who was Worst and Best Dressed. Please tweet us and email us and yell at us and keep talking to us.

It’s our favourite, favourite blog day of the year. We are so grateful you’re enjoying it with us.

Yours in gossip,