When she’s playing the victim, Golddigger Heather Mills always pulls out her one leg and starts crying. Last week she accused Sir Paul and Stella of calling her a one legged bitch during secret taped phone conversations. But here’s the question – and stop reading now if you huff and puff easily as I’m about to offend you:

In this case, in the case of Heather Mills, is the term “one legged” really an insult…or is simply an attribute?

Example – Paris Hilton is a blonde twat. Fact: Paris Hilton is blonde. Fact: Paris Hilton is a twat, therefore Paris Hilton is a blonde twat… Not derogatory.

Next:

Heather Mills is a one legged bitch. Fact: Heather Mills is a bitch. Fact: Heather Mills indeed only has one leg. Therefore:

Heather Mills is a one legged bitch.

So isn’t one legged in this instance simply an adjective? I’m just saying…

Besides, the above is made more true when Heather picks and chooses her one legged moments – when she’s gouging an ex for divorce, the one leg is clearly an instrument for pity. When she’s a model for an animal rights campaign, the one leg becomes an asset, as you can see from the text in this ad now erected in Britain pleading for people to stop eating meat.

You haven’t got a leg to stand on.

True.