This sounds like the title of a porn. Like some of that crazy ass equine sh-t when people do it with mares. Don’t pretend you’re shocked. This happens. A lot.

It is not a porn, obviously, unfortunately, but it does have to do with the member of the British royal family who is voted most likely to participate in one – and of course that would be Hot Harry who, this weekend, is expected at the wedding of his cousin Zara Phillips in Scotland but who, for today, is making headlines for the nickname he’s allegedly given the sister of his sister-in-law:

Foxy Filly

Whatever. Are you rolling your eyes? You should be.

The story originates from TLC. They’re airing a one hour doc on Pippa Middleton next week and are promising to “tell all” about Harry’s relationship with her. Which does not exist beyond the fact that her sister is married to his brother. But somehow the producers found someone stupid enough to make up some anecdote about this Foxy Filly nickname, and this is how they’re selling the programme, in the hopes that many of you will tune in.

I know that on April 29th, we all wanted it to happen. Because back then there was very little known about Pippa, and we only saw that ass, and Chelsy looked so busted, and Harry is so horny, it was a terribly tantalising prospect. Since then though, the real Pippa has emerged. And the real Pippa killed my boner a long time ago.

First of all, why does she dress like she’s 40?

Check it – here’s Pippa in London last week in green and blue middle aged-ness. It’s gross. Like, with her body and skin, these choices, they should not be happening.

Also, did you know how they used to refer to Pippa before the Royal Wedding in reference to the fact that they were constantly trying to set her up with one rich, well connected dude after another?

“She’s been passed around more than a joint at a reggae bar.”

No one talks like this about her anymore, not since April 29th, not since she’s become a UK newspaper industry all to herself. But the girl has definitely undergone image rehabilitation for apparent desperation.

So has Harry ever mounted the Foxy Filly?

Um, Pippa runs marathons and Harry hangs out with a bong in his spare time. It’s not there. It was never there.

And finally, there’s the matter of Florence Brudenell-Bruce why is your name is so goddamn long this is why people call you Flee. Here’s Flee out and about this week on a bike and walking around her neighbourhood. MUCH better style than Pippa. And MUCH more Harry’s type. Is she really his girlfriend? I’m told yes, in a summer fling kind of way, but that no one around him thinks it’s super serious. That he’ll never really get over Chelsea. Like I’ve keep telling you: Chelsea is Camilla.

Also attached – Harry at Ascot the other day.


Photos from Wenn.com and Bauergriffinonline.com