It’s President’s Day in the United States so a lot of people have the day off. Where I live, it’s Family Day, a provincial holiday, so I don’t have the day off because our show services the entire country. I don’t actually have another day off until March 5th, including weekends, because I’m at a junket this weekend, and then it’s the Oscars the weekend after. That’s 19 days straight, and I can feel you, feel you rolling your eyes at me, at my whinging and complaining. At least you have a job, Lainey, you ungrateful c-nt.

You’re right. You are so right.

So let me make it up to you and to me with a gift:

Idris Elba at the BAFTAs. I’ve got black and white shots. I’ve got colour photos. He’s pumping his bicep. He’s sticking his tongue out. He’s smiling. He’s not smiling. He’s DJ’ing. He’s wearing a camel overcoat.

Let us all enjoy.