Dear Gossips,

Twenty-four hours before Kanye West’s wife gave us Gossip Christmas, she tweeted this to her followers:

Does Mrs West follow Chinese astrology? Because Taylor Swift was actually born in the Year of the Snake. Here’s what my Ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, horoscoped for Snakes in this, the Year of the Monkey:

“… there is a bad star that could present problems. So don’t ask for or expect too much. You may run into minor issues with the law. You might find that your plans are often derailed and that things don’t come easy. But the key here, this year, is to be happy with average. Average this year means you’ve won. And if you can be satisfied with average this year, you’ll harvest luck for the coming years.”

We’ll talk about how Taylor can “harvest her luck” later on. For now, this is about Snakes. And another Snake: Kanye West. Yes. Kanye and Taylor are both Snakes. And a Snake + Snake combination is not compatible. This has to do with pride. Two Snakes together will clash because Snakes are known for their egos. They will, in other words, be a “bad star” for one another.

You know what sign is a good match for Snakes? The Monkey. Kanye West’s wife was born in the Year of the Monkey. But one of the most perfect matches for Snakes, typically, is actually the Rooster. Guess who’s a Rooster?

Tom Hiddleston!

Yours in gossip,