Can you imagine how exciting this is for me? A glimpse INSIDE the Hamptons home of my best friend Gwyneth Paltrow?

Classic Gwyneth hypocrisy – complaining about privacy or lack thereof and then inviting House & Garden to photograph her kitchen, her bedroom, and Apple’s adorably canopy bed. Inviting you to see what you can’t have? To throw her good taste into your face? Love. Her.

Have a look – from Us Weekly – a sneak peak into her house…impeccably designed. But of course it is.

Apple’s room, as mentioned, is all kinds of delightful. Especially the monogrammed pillow shams. La Pomme probably already has her own letterhead.

And then the kitchen. Look and salivate over that kitchen. Am all over the warm taupe backsplash. But let’s be honest: that is not a bedroom made for sex. Which is perhaps what my Gwyneth is becoming…

A socialite wife dedicated to home renovations while her husband philanders on the side?

She really was bred for the life, non?