Dear Gossips,

I gave birth again! My book, Listen To The Squawking Chicken, was released in the United States today! Thank you so much for all your support so far. For the second week in a row, Listen To The Squawking Chicken was #3 on the bestseller list in Canada. Click here to see. Again, as I’ve mentioned a few times already, the final acknowledgement at the back of the book is for you, the gossips. You are everything. Gossip is everything.

I’ll be at Barnes & Noble (150 East 86th Street) in New York tonight at 7pm to squawk and smut. See you there? And in Chicago on Thursday at 7pm at Anderson’s Bookshop. And in LA on Friday at 7pm at Book Soup. And San Francisco on Saturday at 12:30pm at Book Passage. Click here for the schedule. I hope we can talk sh-t in person. We have a lot of sh-t to talk about. Like…does Johnny Depp need a Career Prospectus? This was actually suggested to Sarah the other day. We laughed. And then we realised…

The fact that someone had to ask says a lot about what’s happened to Johnny Depp. What happened to Johnny Depp?

Yours in gossip,