Dear Gossips,

If you were Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, seriously, would you want to be on Fuller House? Everyone was talking yesterday about how John Stamos put them on blast for claiming to not know about the new show when they really did know about the new show and just didn’t want to come right out and say it but, come on, as Duana wrote last week (click here for a refresher), WHY would Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, who are currently finalising what they’re wearing to the MET Gala, ever revisit Michelle Tanner?

These two are practically public mutes. They hardly ever speak. When they do speak, it’s about $500 t-shirts. That’s not exactly the Kimmy Gibbler demographic. Some people are like, well, they wouldn’t be The Row and Elizabeth & James if not for Full House. I disagree. They wouldn’t be The Row and Elizabeth & James and what they are now if not for those movies, those videos. (My personal favourite was Winning London.) An entire generation grew up on those videos. That generation grew up WITH them afterwards. Lots of children play babies on television sitcoms. Few of them go on to make Sweet Valley High style straight-to-videos and become billionaires. That’s my new party idea: to marathon all those Olsen videos one night with people who appreciate the artistic genius of New York Minute.

Yours in gossip,