Dear Gossips,

The London premiere of One Direction’s This Is Us is happening tonight. They’re expecting 70,000 or more. And apparently the band has been cautioned against having an afterparty for fear of trampling. You know who else created that kind of hysteria back in their day?

The Spice Girls.

For some reason, the Spice Girls have become a punchline now but I can’t remember an all-girl group before or since that inspired the same supercharged mania. So find a fan somewhere and turn it on. That’s your wind machine as you blast Viva Forever.

Yours in gossip,