Dear Gossips,

“While privacy isn't expected, it's certainly appreciated."

Well, sh-t, I didn’t realise. Especially since I’m so intimately familiar with you in a bikini wrapped around your husband, and every other detail of your life that you so happily blast out on Twitter several times a day. Fortunately (but really unfortunately) for her then, I don’t actually care. On the caring metre, it’s the same for LeAnn Rimes the way it is for Jennifer Love Hewitt. Maybe even less. Because while trying to attract attention by dressing up as Audrey Hepburn and stalking Tiffany & Co is pathetic, it’s nowhere near as low as exploiting a trip to rehab for the same purpose.

Did you get a chance to watch the Opening Ceremony of the Paralympic Games? I loved the Opening Ceremony for the Summer Games. But I may have enjoyed this one more. On the production side it was a lot tighter too. And besides, how about Ian McKellen’s robe?

Also attached -- the legendary Arnold Boldt of Canada at the Velodrome today. I’ve lost track of how many Paralympics he’s competed in. Like, at least 6, right?

Yours in gossip,