Dear Gossips,

The summer of the split continues. This time…

Miss Piggy and Kermit.

They confirmed yesterday that they are no longer together although they could be if presented with the right offer – probably a movie deal? By the way, because these things matter, it was Piggy who walked:

“After careful thought, thoughtful consideration and considerable squabbling, Miss Piggy made the difficult decision to terminate our romantic relationship. We will continue to work together on television (“The Muppets”/Tuesdays 8pm this fall on ABC) and in all media now known or hereafter devised, in perpetuity, throughout the universe. However, our personal lives are now distinct and separate, and we will be seeing other people, pigs, frogs, et al. This is our only comment on this private matter. Thank you for your understanding.”

Obviously I don’t love the end of love but I do love that the Muppets are basically trolling celebrities. Hopefully Kermit will next hook up with a nanny. But whatever, like Gwen and Gavin, it’s Piggy who’s always been the real star of that relationship:

"Dating moi is like flying close to the sun. It was inevitable that Kermit would drop down to the ground while I stayed in the heavens."

Speaking of nannies, to no one’s surprise, the nanny’s making headlines again today. We’ll get to that this morning.

Yours in gossip,