Dear Gossips,

Did you know it’s the 20th anniversary of Mariah Carey’s Merry Christmas? What kind of a lamb am I that I totally forgot? 

As you know, Christmas belongs to Mimi. Dean wrote about this a couple of years ago – 3 Rules For A Very Mimi Christmas. So if you’re a bad lamb like me and you forgot to celebrate Mimi’s milestone, don’t worry. She’s always good for a reminder. This is when she comes alive. Well, halfway.

Mimi released an audio message about Merry Christmas and her upcoming Christmas appearances yesterday. I’ve attached the voice note below. The sh-t quality voice note. This is what I’ve always loved about my Mimi. She claims to be top level. But her execution is often so low budget sometimes you think she might be trolling you.

Here she is, ostensibly promoting her own product, AND YOU CAN BARELY HEAR HER. The words are garbled, the ticket details are unintelligible, and it’s not hard to imagine she recorded this message, not even half-heartedly while sitting in her champagne bath, worrying about whether or not her hair looks good.

There are perfectionists…and then there’s Mimi.

Yours in gossip,