Dear Gossips,

Welcome back from Christmas!

You know what I still haven’t watched yet? I am Britney Jean, Britney’s documentary about her Vegas show that aired on E! on Sunday. It’s on the PVR and I started the first 10 minutes. And then I realised there was a movie on TV that I’ve already seen before. And I still decided to change the channel. Which, when it comes to Britney, is not like me at all. It’s just…

There was nothing there.

Randomly they jam in a moment with her where she talks about enjoying sex. OK. It’s like they could only get her to sit down and say something – anything – coherent in 2 minute increments. You can’t build a narrative when your subject won’t tell the story, you know? And don’t lie to me about her being the decision maker on all the details about her show. This is not Beyonce.

Maybe it gets better? I’ll try again tonight. But during this time of year, the re-run movies are always so good. Like last night Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was on. Haven’t seen it in years. Totally forgot Daniel Craig was in it and spoke with an American accent. RIGHT?!? It made me really uncomfortable. Also, Jorah Mormont, who I f-cking hate on Game Of Thrones. He plays smarmy asshole really, really well.

Yours in gossip,