Dear Gossips,

I’ve been yelled at recently, specifically in reference to the SAG and Golden Globe nominations, and sh-tty Downton Abbey receiving so many of them. The show sucks. It has sucked since Season 1. It really, really sucked this Christmas. Half of them look like they’ve checked out. Half of them actually looked jealous of Cousin Matthew, hoping for the same fate. Which, I mean, that’s fine. Because it’s just a soap opera and you enjoy it for the escapism, sure. But if that’s the case, why aren’t they inviting Days Of Our Lives to the Beverly Hilton? Terribly unfair.

Jessica Simpson decided to take over the holidays so I’ll be light posting the next couple of days and Monday and we’ll return to a full blogging schedule on January 2, when I have to get back into regular pants again.

Yours in gossip,