Dear Gossips,

Demi Moore covers the new issue of PEOPLE. The headline for the online preview reads: Inside Demi Moore's Dangerous Desperation to 'Stay Young and Skinny'. An article on the website yesterday previously reported that Demi is humiliated that her breakdown has become public. I don’t suppose being called “desperate and insecure” on the cover of the most popular celebrity weekly and described to be clinging on to young men to make her feel better about herself will help with that.

Very interesting though PEOPLE’s aggressive coverage on the story, especially since it’s certainly not pro-celebrity. But then again, you can imagine how attractive the report must be on the newsstand. To the struggling mother of 3 standing in line at the grocery who is often too tired to comb her hair, let alone bother with the other efforts required to pull herself together, reading about the plight of Demi Moore, who once claimed to have it all, with all those aesthetic resources at her disposal, and still for whom, in the end, or, more accurately, hopefully at the midpoint, happiness remains elusive, seems like an easy $3.99 to spend and savour, after the kids have gone to bed.

I wonder if it’s not part of a larger strategy. If you magnify the sh-t and the lows, the eventual rebound and the comeback is that much more compelling. In 2 months, or less, will it be a new headline that reads:

Exclusive: Demi Moore - how she fought back, freed herself, and found love!

Wait for it.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey