Dear Gossips,


It is the Year of the Goat/Sheep. For some signs, when your year comes around, it’s not a great turn on the cycle. For example, if you’re a Tiger, your worst year is the Year of the Tiger. Because of how Chinese astrology perceives the nature of a Tiger: ferocious. When a Tiger meets a Tiger then, there can be no peace. There’s a saying in Chinese: no two Tigers can exist together in one place. That’s why the Tiger year is so sh-t for those who are born Tigers. Their instinct is to rip each other apart.

Chinese astrology, however, ascribes a very different temperament to the Goat/Sheep: gentle. Which means the Goat won’t hurt the Goat. Not much to be concerned about here. Maybe some minor challenges, like parking tickets or harmless fines – issues with authority, it sounds like – so you should still get your blood checked and teeth cleaned but overall, it won’t suck.

This year, my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, is giving away 10 lucky charms. Can you see? They come in purple pouches. And they’re elephants! Lucky elephants with their trunks up. And this time, every sign is eligible. You can be any of the 12 signs to enter. If you would like one of the Squawking Chicken’s lucky charms, please email [email protected] with the title LUCKY CHARM. We’ll let you know next week.

May the Goat be kind and compassionate. May you be healthy and happy. May there be peace and understanding.


Yours in gossip,


PS. It’s a travel day for me today. Am leaving at 8am ET for a 6 hour flight so I’ve prepared several posts overnight to roll out when I’m in the air and I’ll resume as soon as I can on the other side. Apologies in the advance for any inconvenience.