Dear Gossips,

I’d no time to waste yesterday on Alec Baldwin’s 5,000 word PLUS – PLUS! – so called verbal essay in New York Magazine until last night before bed. All that exposition and, really, he could have saved himself the trouble with one word, repeated over and over and over again:


So, if you’ve not had the opportunity to enjoy it yet, that’s pretty much all he had to say.

Not surprisingly, no one bothered to check Baldwin’s piece before publishing it. Or perhaps that was deliberate – letting the document stand alone, a testament to his narcissism, a manifesto written in honour of his ego and his version of the truth: he is never wrong. But the entertainment media always is.

Even though he sold his baby photos to PEOPLE, like, five minutes after the birth? Even though his wife keeps dropping yoga poses on the street in the presence of the paps? Even though his wife is/was a correspondent on an entertainment news show!?!?

Baldwin is exiting public life on the COVER OF A F-CKING MAGAZINE. Fine then. Go. But …do you really want to go?

There was an article yesterday at The New York Times about Jennifer Lawrence (we’ll get to that later today) with a sentence that’s especially apt for Baldwin:

“…given how profoundly difficult it’s become for stars to have anything like a private life — to walk to a yoga class or pass out drunk in a friend’s car — without becoming fodder for tabloids and gossip sites (…) Some stars handle the lack of privacy disastrously, feeding the beast even as it eats them, while others turn their lives into performances that they deliver one item at a time, as Angelina Jolie brilliantly does.”

Yes. Angelina Jolie. Because if Angelina can, and no one is hunted like Angelina Jolie, surely the lesser ones should be able to?

But that’s it, exactly. They are lesser. Alec Baldwin could never admit that. What he’s given us though is the answer to the question: What will Shia LaBeouf be in 25 years? And they both lose.

Thank you, Alec. Thank you so much for that.

Click here to read the Baldwin article at Vulture, the ENTERTAINMENT MEDIA SECTION of New York Magazine.

Yours in gossip,