Dear Gossips,

Would Madonna have ever agreed to present the Golden Globe for Best Foreign Language Film at the request of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association if the winner was Angelina Jolie?

Somehow the HFPA gave her an award this season. When the Academy didn’t even include her song on the Oscar shortlist. Not that A Separation isn’t monumentally deserving. But at the same time, Madonna was a winner last night. Deserving isn’t really part of this conversation then, is it?

We will sh-t on Madonna some more later. AFTER we sh-t on Ricky Gervais. And through it all we’ll sh-t on Paula Patton. Because somehow, in yellow, she helped herself to every goddamn award, every f-cking shot. And suddenly Lea Michele, she’s actually tolerable now.

So how were the Globes for you? Well, I would have preferred if the Globes were re-titled George Clooney Loves Brad Pitt, let it roll. Duana and I, in our post-show rundown, as we worked on article assignments, asked ourselves why it’s not as much fun as it used to be.

You know, the expression Sit DOWN was coined by Duana, many years ago, during the Globes, at the height of Desperate Housewives, in response to Teri Hatcher being unbearably unbearable. We reminisced about Julia Roberts and WHO’s NATALIE???

This is why, despite the fact that some of you hate her, Julia Roberts is essential this time of year. She makes it fun. And that’s the difference between Charlize Theron and Julia Roberts. Both are Evil Queen bitches of the master class. But Julia Roberts can make an event out of it, you know?

A full Golden Globes wrap-up will follow. And it means the column will be very, very heavy today. So heavy it will spill over 2 pages, maybe even 3. Please keep refreshing, and if you’re joining us late, please hit VIEW OLDER at the bottom to get caught up on all our words.

We’ll get to other non-Globes gossip after later in the day and tomorrow. And if you missed our liveblog, please click here.

Yours in gossip,