Dear Gossips,

I went to bed in the afternoon yesterday with a headache and turned on The Situation Room on CNN. Wolf Blitzer always makes me happy. It’s something about the way he shouts and also HIS NAME IS WOLF BLITZER. At least twice a week I need a hit of Wolf shouting and especially when I’m sick.  

So there I was, under the covers, ready to be comforted by Wolf’s signature bewildered yell-reporting, and he’s talking about a new cover-up conspiracy. Perfect!

Beyonce: live or lip-synch? On The Situation Room!

There was a Washington journalist on with Wolf analysing every angle of the story. Apparently Beyonce, currently tied up with Super Bowl rehearsals, couldn’t fit in enough rehearsal time so they recorded a version for safety. Then one band spokesperson initially said she faked it, but a few hours later another band spokesperson said they didn’t know if she faked it, and Wolf was huffing about not seeing any band members playing their instruments at all, and by the end of the 6 minute block, if you switched out some of the names and a word here and there, they could have been talking about the Pentagon Papers, there was so much gravitas.

Beyonce’s alleged fraud was the biggest story of January 22, 2013. In hindsight then, I wonder if she regrets not using the wind machine. The wind machine would have added even more theatricality to the ear-piece moment, as the air would have taken her hair and swept it back, just as she ripped it out of her ear, complemented by an imaginary roll of thunder that we’d somehow hear in all our minds. Perhaps that’s the lesson Bey will learn from all of this then: never leave the wind machine at home.

What else?

Well, that’s probably it.

Beysus is back in New Orleans now. She has not (at press time) spoken about the controversy. Instead, she posted photo after photo of her inauguration experience on her Tumblr. And a picture of herself at Mother’s, a local restaurant, with her mouth covered, content to remain silent while it all swirls around her, as always, the centre of attention.

All celebrities, even the very minor ones like Kellan Lutz, especially those like Kellan Lutz, are narcissistic and self-absorbed. The mega celebrities take narcissism and self-absorption to such extraordinary new levels, it’s almost awesome to observe. When you sh-t on Beyonce for faking her way through the national anthem, in her mind she automatically becomes a victim, and it hardens her resolve to continue to pursue her perceived greatness undeterred. While everyone else was busy being angry or sad or disappointed or shocked or angry again about Beyonce lip-synching, Beyonce was simply...fueling. At this point she’s basically inoculated herself against criticism. She probably does it better than anyone else.

It will likely be another light day today as I’m still gross from flu. Also LifeStyle is being updated with new haute couture collections from Paris.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey