Dear Gossips,

“We have not chronicled a single celebrity divorce on this broadcast ...but Katie Holmes’s widely publicised split from Tom Cruise has a unique component as part of the story -- and that is the Church of Scientology. Tom Cruise is publicly identified as its most celebrated believer and many people wonder whether Katie Holmes is trying to get herself and her daughter away from Scientology as much as she's trying to get out of her marriage.”

That is how Brian Williams introduced the story last night on NBC’s Rock Centre. It was a two block segment right in the middle sweet spot of the hour-long program. On Prime Time. On a major network. Presenting testimony against Tom Cruise’s religion, subtly positing that Katie Holmes may have been tortured and that her child could have been abused and therefore had no choice but to escape.

The mainstream media is attacking The Church, an organisation with a litigious reputation that relied on intimidation to silence critics. And now it’s like the whack-a-mole game. They can’t keep up. They can’t possibly thump every adversary; there are too many popping up and too quickly.

Just two weeks ago, this was inconceivable. Then Katie Holmes decided to f-ck Xenu in the ass. Sh-t, maybe she needs her very own Bourne franchise.

Stop yelling at me. I gave warning that this would crush you. But why would it crush me if it was Antonio Banderas? It’s not. Or Hugh Jackman which... have I not been clear enough about Hugh Jackman?

Enjoy the weekend!

Yours in gossip,