Dear Gossips,

You been on Pottermore lately? Have you read it yet? Man, when I heard about it, I felt the same way I did lining up at midnight for the newest book. I thought I’d never feel that way again.

Rita Skeeter’s article is only 1500 words long and, ha, it’s a gossip column. With hilarious bits like this:

"Should we read anything into the fact that (Harry Potter’s) wife Ginevra has been perfectly happy to leave her husband and children behind in London whilst reporting on (the Quidditch World Cup)?”

Harry and Ginny are Brange!

God it was good to reconnect with these people. To read any detail, no matter how benign. Sometimes, the more benign, the better. And the way she did it, it was like, here’s what they’re up to, but, no I don’t really have to commit to this but since Rita’s just a tabloid reporter, none of this will stick.

Including the part about the new cut on Harry’s cheek: ANOTHER SCAR.

OMG. What does it mean? Could it mean…?

See, it doesn’t have to mean anything. And that’s what’s frustrating too. Because she said it was done. But is it really done? Diagon Alley is now open at Universal Orlando Resort. So I get it. I get it that she has some promoting to do. And yet, she keeps serving those obligations with a side of hope. Can you let us know, once and for all then, whether or not you’re going to write Book 8? Or a new Book 1 in the next series?

She gave herself enough to work with, don’t you think? With Harry’s children. And Scorpius Malfoy could be one of the best named villains of all time. He has the background for it too, the son of a failed dark wizard, borne out of resentment and disappointment, who ends up inheriting a lifetime of unmet expectation and raised in environment of embarrassment and shame.

Look. If not, no problem. But how much longer are you going to keep teasing, Jo?

You know might need her to stop teasing? Daniel Radcliffe. He was asked about the new material yesterday while promoting his new movie What If (it’s called The F Word in Canada). Radcliffe was like, well, I’m several years younger than how old Harry is in Rita Skeeter’s article so… I don’t think I could play him. He sounded terrified that he’d be obliged to go find his wand. I don’t blame him.

Yours in gossip,