Dear Gossips,

Lindsay Lohan will be back in court on Monday. So that’s something to look forward to, particularly that bumbling fool of a lawyer who’s now representing her. According to TMZ Lohan’s trial will likely start next week because she refuses to accept a plea deal from prosecutors. In other words, she doesn’t think she did anything wrong and won’t accept the punishment.

You’ll note, Lohan has been able to keep a pretty low profile for about a month now. Or at least the paps haven’t been able to find her. Because she was told to lock her sh-t down leading up to her next court appearance. And she did. This is not a compliment. What it is is a reminder. And, appropriately perhaps, some evidence. That for all the excuses about her being “out of control” and deserving sympathy, how is it that she always knows exactly when to hold it together just when the time is right? If you give her credit for holding it together then give her the credit for all the times she’s a f-cking asshole. She is an asshole. Drink or drugs or not, she is an asshole. You take away all the explanations and that is still an asshole.

Who will strut down her legal runway on Monday, perhaps with a whole new look. Maybe that’s what she’s been doing all this time. Coming up with a hair colour and the perfect outfit. Or at least whatever she can afford with Charlie Sheen’s pocket change.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,