Dear Gossips,

It’s just that they’re so... predictable, celebrities.

Chris Brown is predictable, as predictable as a menstrual cycle. Once a month or so, he’s good for a violent outburst. Justin Bieber? Predictable too. He’s 19. He’s had the world for a quarter of his life, it’s belonged to him. Now, almost as if on schedule, well, he’s following the child star playbook. And then there’s Ben Affleck who hasn’t been photographed with his kids in 7 days now. Before Oscar Sunday we saw him out with them at least twice a week. After Oscar there was a 5 day gap, which is now clearly increasing with a rather helpful excuse -- the last time I went out, the paps were mean to me (even though I was OK with that right up to Argo’s coronation). See? Predictable.

We’re travelling today, back to Toronto for ma’s birthday so it’ll be light. Landing at around 7pm ET. If anything breaks in flight, I’ll cover it as soon as I get back online. If no, regular schedule resumes Monday.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,