Dear Gossips,

Apparently there are some people “spontaneously bursting into applause when Leonardo (DiCaprio) first appears onscreen” at showings of The Great Gatsby and that these are all Titanic Twi-Hards. I suppose that’s why he’s steadfastly avoided romantic roles since then. There was a lot of giggling at my theatre in Vegas on Saturday. But no spontaneous applauding. Now I feel ripped off. It would have been less...boring?

If Jon Snow is into the Gidget kind of girl, he could only follow that up with the Khaleesi, right? They keep talking about their future together, Jon and Gidget, which only convinces me more that there won’t be one. And while I know you Game Of Thrones know-it-allers are constantly screaming about how “YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO GUESS WHAT HAPPENS!!!”, Ice and Fire has to mean Snow and Stormborn, right!? Stormborn is the most badass nickname ever. Also, the guy who f-cks his sister is now the man who bears for a friend? If only he had his brother’s sense of humour. There are 3 episodes left. This is making me very, very nervous.

A quick word on SMUT tickets. There’s a glitch with the ticketing system so Vancouver and Calgary tickets won’t be on sale until later this week. Yes, I am officially tech cursed. Check the SMUT SOIREE Instagram here for updates and for pictures from past events. We apologise for the inconvenience but promise to make it up to you at the party! Can’t wait to see you there. I think I broke my shoe slump this weekend with these. They’re the perfect nude. I love them so much I think I’ll wear them to all three SMUTs.

Yours in gossip,