Intro for May 16, 2006

Dear gossips,

Two words about London? Smutty sophistication.

Y’all are some hardcore gossips and I love you for it. Here are some of the delightful things I’ve picked up from my delightful new English sources. Try to keep up: 1. Apparently, Golden Balls waxes everything. EVERYTHING. Indeed, if you took a peek down the Beckham brand, you’d find his Big Willy and the twins are balder than Bruce Willis. Now do you love it or do you love it? 2. They love Nicole Richie and who the hell is Paris Hilton??? 3. Worse kept secret in Londontown? According to them, American Idol’s most vicious critic is of 2 heads. Rumour has it, he also shared something “loosey” goosey with the aforementioned Mr. Posh and it certainly isn’t Victoria. These days, however, I hear he prefers the Wentworth Miller type. Shocking, non? Or maybe it isn’t…

So, like, I had every intention of hooking up with Sadie and the Primrose Hill yummy mummies the other day but um… I ran into a couple of my girls at Covent Garden yesterday and before I knew it, Anne Boleyn (who I visited at the Tower) and her sister Mary adorably announced their membership into my shoe collection – just the tip of the shopping iceberg and well… at the end of the day, I love clothes more than I love stalking celebrities. Truly sorry, but when you see Anne and Mary in their eggshell blue and chocolate brown glory, I think you might get a hint of why my husband went broke yesterday and why I chose to ignore the ladies what lunch. The photo really doesn’t do them justice. Wedge heel, the softest leather, tarty but not trashy. And they don’t make your legs look stubby. In a word – divine. So no, instead of spying, I went shopping. Forgive me?

Here are my new best friends, perched proudly on my Parisian balcony with a wonderful evening view of the Eglise du Dome in the background, almost as if Napoleon himself was giving his blessing. The Emperor and my shoes. Sigh. Anyway, in today’s European edition: Nicole’s engagement confirmed (??!!) and what you didn’t see at the UNIFEM event, Halle low classy continued, Ellen Pompeo’s desperate cry for help, praise for Nicolette Sheridan, and a very disturbing blind riddle.