Dear Gossips,

Welcome back to those of you in the US returning from your long weekend. We posted on a regular schedule here yesterday - please scroll down to catch up on any stories you may have missed.

Am convinced that the purpose of Twitter is to make people feel old. When I fired up the Twitter this morning, still not quite alert, “Die In Your Arms” was trending. I suspect it probably still is. My reaction was, “OMG, Cutting Crew is trending?!?”

Obviously not Cutting Crew.

Die In Your Arms is the title of Justin Bieber’s new song...which, um, no, I don’t hate and if Tom Hardy asked me to slow dance to it I totally would. But it’s not Cutting Crew. Nothing quite compares to 80s cheese rock.

Yours in gossip,