Dear Gossips,

How many people wear floor length gowns to be interviewed by David Letterman?

Mimi.

Mimi did. And not only was it floor length, it was also sparkly and mermaidy. So, you know, if you didn’t know where she was going, you would have assumed it was an award show. Or some kind of gala. No. Just a talk show appearance.

Next question: how many people does it take to jam Mimi into her floor lengths gowns because she insists on wearing clothes that are too small for her? Wait. Who cares? I don’t want her to ever change. Ever. Keep on being “elusive”. Keep on babbling excuses about why it took so long for the album to come out. I don’t understand what the f-ck she’s saying but she’s waving that butterfly ring in my face so, really, what’s the problem?

Yours in gossip,

Lainey