Dear Gossips,

If Justin Bieber refuses to submit to a DNA test to prove he is or isn’t the father of Mariah’s baby - I can’t say her name without cracking up - does that automatically make him the father of Mariah’s baby? Because he’s afraid to prove he’s not? Let’s play armchair talent manager, shall we? Because while it might be easy enough to pee in a cup and verify that he didn’t give her his virginity in the span of 30 seconds while “f-cking the sh-t” out of her in a backstage bathroom, it also sets a precedent that anyone who comes forward with a paternity claim can eat up your time and resources, set your agenda. That would be my dilemma. Then again...

He could have totally f-cked the sh-t out of her and gotten her pregnant. So does that mean in 14 years, we’ll be watching that kid on YouTube, or whatever the video streaming public service provider will be then, singing like his long-lost dad, discovered by the future Usher, setting teen hearts afire? Gossip repeats itself.

Today - finally The Night Circus book review, and posts from Duana, Sarah, and Sasha on LifeStyle including Emma Stone’s coat. Since we’re still enjoying the Maldives so it might not be a very heavy Friday - these photos should give you an idea why. Many of you have been asking for more details about what the Maldives is like as a holiday destination. Please see attached. We’re sorry it’s been lighter this week. Thanks so much for understanding.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,


PS. That dark mass in the water there? Those are tiny little fish! And the boat you’re looking at is called a “dhoni”. It’s like a hotel room on water and you can book it for day trips or dinners. Most resorts in the Maldives are “over-water bungalow” styles. And our particular island is pretty much barefoot all the time. You see the speedboat behind me in the last photo? That’s where they drop you off and pick you up and when you’re arriving and departing. Which is what we have to do on Sunday. I just choked on that sentence.