Dear Gossips,

In his latest blog for the Huffington Post, after offering his Expert Artist Opinion on Denzel Washington’s performance in Flight and the film Sessions, starring John Hawkes and Helen Hunt, James Franco humble-brags about being nominated for a National Entertainment Journalism award for these vanity pieces in which he discusses, among other things, his advanced teaching methods and his love life, complemented by a photo of himself giving the finger. Near the end of his masturbation, Franco predicts that Gawker and the New York Post would not report on his nomination because they wouldn’t want to “publicize that an actor/Yale doctoral candidate” is receiving recognition for “something that they are doing themselves”. Yes, this is how James Franco refers to himself: actor/Yale doctoral candidate.

So, of course, Gawker answered. By reporting on Franco’s nomination and then casually but hilariously mentioning that other nominees include a PEOPLE Magazine writer who’s been recognised for a piece about How Kirstie Alley Lost 100 lbs!, and another dude, the sole nominee in his category, who live-tweeted  Whitney Houston’s death. Click here to read Gawker’s Franco tribute. 

Speaking of PEOPLE, the Sexiest Man Alive will be announced today. I’m on a 7am ET flight out of New York back to Vancouver, arriving at 1pm ET so I’ll miss the grand unveil. Several articles have been prepared overnight to roll out while I’m in the air and I’ll address the SMA after Smutty Tingles as soon as I land. Sorry for the inconvenience!

Yours in gossip,