Dear Gossips,

I struggled with an article about Channing Tatum being named PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive yesterday because it didn’t feel new. We’d been expecting it for a year, non? I first called it on November 18, 2011 right after Bradley Cooper’s underwhelming confirmation.

Tatum was the only choice -- three straight box office wins and cut abs and not overly intellectual and a genuinely nice person who hasn’t been busted for cheating on his wife and he’s willing to play, right? He gave PEOPLE the quotes they were looking for:

What? You’re messing with me -- are you sure I’m the SMA? (This means he must be humble.)

I want babies. It’s time for me and my wife to have babies. (The MiniVan Majority loves babies and people who want to make them.)

I was washing the dogs in the tub when I told my wife about this news. (He his helpful around the house and loves animals.)

You can’t really go wrong with that, you know?

But it still would have been fun if it had been more of a race. As I initially wrote back in July, there was no race and therefore no need to handicap all the contenders. Maybe next year we can bring that feature back. I love that feature. But this year, Channing Tatum just made it a waste of time. He had it locked up a long, long time ago.

Tonight I’ll be sleeping outside in support of Covenant House Vancouver! We start at 7pm and we go until 6am, sharing in the everyday experience of homeless kids, many of whom are running from abuse and neglect. Click here for more information on the Sleep Out, and a heads up then for tomorrow as I’ll be getting a late start.

Yours in gossip,