Dear Gossips,

Jacek and I were married ten years ago. Ten years is a long time. And marriage, it isn’t easy, but for us, for all the work that we put into it, it’s very, very rewarding. So there’s our marriage, and then that Kardashian’s “marriage”, now over, as you know, after a monumental 72 days. I hate that it’s the same word. I wish the English language could offer a different word, a word that can differentiate between marriages. Because how can what Jacek and I have be, by definition, the same as what that Kardashian may or may not have pretended to have? Kinda like “champagne”, right? It’s only champagne if it’s from the region. It’s sparkling wine when it comes from anywhere else. Needless to say, whatever it was for that Kardashian is more like rotten grape juice, but my point is that I wish there was another word. I don’t want to have to share that word with her interpretation of it.

Anyway... as you can imagine, we are extra celebratory today. There will be Grey Goose and a private bbq grill at our bungalow and cheesy slow jams pumping through our little Maldivian retreat...and of course, a lot of celebrity smut too. OMG did Justin Bieber make a baby?

Yours in gossip,