Dear Gossips,

I always get panicky on award show nights about how to cover the event on the blog the next day: what to write, how early to get up, if I’ll have enough time to post all the photos/videos/noteworthy moments. This is how I was feeling about half an hour before the American Music Awards after seeing my ma for dinner and settling in at Duana’s last night in Toronto.

Then I clicked over to the photo agency and noticed that they let Phoebe Price onto their red carpet. Which says everything about how seriously an awards show takes itself. In this case, not very. And if they’re not respecting their own brand, why should I?

There’s also my disdain for Maroon 5. I would rather listen to Justin Bieber than Moves Like Jagger and that was before it was played out on the radio. Maroon 5 to me is like the Mazda Miata of cars. I could never get with a dude who drives a Miata. And if he pulled up with Maroon 5 on his iPod? He could look like David Beckham, I still wouldn’t get hard.

Then Jennifer Lopez’s performance turned into a commercial for Fiat. So, you know, that tells you everything you need to know about how much weight will be assigned to the AMAs. In other words, reporting will be limited. Check my Twitter - click here - if you’re looking for some final thoughts on it.

But, like, please...

Hot Harry on a Horse is on a hog and getting the Vegas special and you want to talk about the American Music Awards?

Yours in gossip,