Dear Gossips,

I thought the American Music Awards would be boring. I was wrong. The American Music Awards induced rage (mostly thanks to Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake), euphoria (I love you, Rihanna), and an acid trip (is Barack Obama cheating on Michelle Obama with Lady Gaga – what!?). All that and we haven’t even gotten to Miley, the comic relief. So, no, not boring. Worth it? Well, definitely, yes. For the gossip. Always for the gossip. And for the Joan Jett. I wonder if Joan’s attendance was conditional. Like, if you’re Joan Jett, you do not want to face any possibility of presenting an award to either Justin Bieber or Chris Brown, right? Bieber was at the AMAs last year, remember? And he was booed. Why wasn’t Katy Perry booed? Oh, right. It’s because she sings songs about empty empowerment. Forgive me. I stand for nothing so I fall for everything. Which is probably why I missed the message about why Katy Perry is awesome.

Also, I think I might need to be best friends with the shortest member of Imagine Dragons. He seemed shocked to be up there, and the Movember on his face only made it better.

When did the American Music Awards become more entertaining than the MTV VMAs?

We’ll start off with The Walking Dead. And then we’ll get into the show.

Yours in gossip,