Dear Gossips,

I just love waking up to the headline: Lindsay Lohan arrested.

And Los Angeles will be waking up to that headline too. Casting directors, producers, directors, studio executives -- once again, when they review their options, why would Lohan ever be one of them?

See? Never let that loser give you hope that it could be any different.

Thank you for your emails re: the Halle Berry situation. It’s Sad Smut, so there will be no ongoing coverage on it except to say that it’s really interesting to me the inclination to hate on Halle when the mother usually enjoys the benefit of the doubt more than most, especially when she’s a celebrity. What do you think that’s all about? The simplest assessment of this mess would be to say that all three are selfish assholes and leave it at that. Why the attempt to actively search for ways to blame her and hope that Gabriel Aubry comes out the good guy? They ALL suck, non?

Yours in gossip,