Dear Gossips,

Imagine getting to a point in your life when a 30 day jail sentence is actually what you WANT? This happened to Lindsay Lohan in court yesterday. And she was happy about it. Because it could have been a lot more. If you were ordered to jail for 30 days, would you come out the courthouse all smiles with your newly bleached teeth?

And how about the fact that Judge Stephanie Sautner has essentially become Lindsay Lohan’s mother? In the absence of a proper mother, Judge Sautner’s the one who is actually trying to enforce some structure to that idiot’s life. Whether or not Lindsay Lohan complies is another matter entirely. You will note however that she is certainly capable of scraping her sh-t together when it’s on the line? Like, somehow she manages to show up for community service, and on time, when she knows her back is up against the wall. What does that tell you? It tells me that when she doesn’t play by the rules, it’s an active and deliberate disrespect that has nothing to do with instability or distress. Lohan’s poor decision making is motivated by one factor alone: she is an asshole. And that asshole somehow managed to put off her jail sentence by a week so she could take her clothes off, again, for Playboy. Give it a year. By then Dina Lohan will have both her girls in the magazine side by side, scissoring each other. Every mother’s dream.

On the blog agenda today: Sons of Anarchy, Sarah on Taylor Lautner, Sasha’s answering style requests, and I’m admiring Lourdes Leon’s skinny jeans over in LifeStyle.  Am still blogging from the Maldives but please note, it’ll be lighter to end the week as we wrap up our final few days on the island. So sorry about the inconvenience and thanks for understanding.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey