Dear Gossips,

Demi Moore must dread Wednesdays now. Because for the last month, every Wednesday there’s been a new tabloid cover with a new explosive revelation about her husband’s cheating; it’s the story that keeps giving, and this week we’re hearing directly from the girl who was f-cking Demi’s husband Ashton Kutcher on the eve of their 6th anniversary. She describes their encounter in explicit detail. Meanwhile, Ashton continues to pimp a variety of websites and tech items on Twitter, probably for profit.  How do you ever know if Ashton Kutcher actually likes something?

Responses from you to the Beyonce Fake Baby Debate seem to be about 40% “That’s a Pillow!” to 60% of you conceding that it simply was just a weird fold of fabric and that B really is carrying the Heir. Interestingly enough though, even those of you who DO think she’s pregnant also think she’s been padding her belly to elicit more attention. Sure, I’ll totally buy that. I have a few friends who were very little throughout their pregnancies and felt Small Bump Shame because people would freak out over bigger bumps and reject theirs for not protruding enough. That is the craziest sh-t I’ve ever heard. But I also don’t doubt it.

Hello Montreal! We’re on our way today from Toronto. Flying this afternoon but there will be no interruption to the blog schedule.

Yours in gossip,