Dear Gossips,

Jessica Biel will marry Justin Timberlake this weekend. Unlike Blake Lively, who managed to keep her wedding undercover until after the fact, everyone now has a 3 day lead on Shelfy and Pips. But...that’s not really surprising, is it? More on this later.

Did you watch the presidential debate last night? Last night over dinner, my friend Laura told me that that show about the Honey Boo Boo people actually gets higher ratings even during debates. Is this a true story? I’ve not watched a minute of that sh-t, but I wonder, when that kid grows up, how she’ll deal with the fact that the world was making fun of her when she was a child. Or maybe that doesn’t matter since there’s so much cash money coming in now. Every time I look at a photo agency for fresh pictures, there she is, getting papped all over the place, always surrounded by a crowd of fans wanting, I dunno, her autograph...? Adults are asking the Honey Boo Boo child for autographs. I give up.

Yours in gossip,