Dear Gossips,

Justin Timberlake’s video for TKO was just released this morning. I already found the song embarrassing. Every time she kills him with the “coochie coo” I feel embarrassed for him. And now this – a short film that JT co-wrote, telling the story of how the “coo-coochie-coochie-coo” took him down like a boxer over 7 long minutes. The f-ck does he have against brevity these days?

Coochie Coo is played by Riley Keough, Elvis’s granddaughter. She gets to make out with him wearing a man’s shirt in the kitchen before smashing him in the back of the head after her does up his belt. JT meanwhile spends most of the time being dragged across the desert. Much of the action happens in slow motion, presumably because JT doesn’t have enough ideas to fill the, again, over 7 minute long sequence.

Oh but it’s so sexy and dangerous. Is it? Really?

The best thing I can say about what I just watched is that he looks good when his hair comes loose from the gel and falls forward.

Yours in gossip,