Dear Gossips,

It was Poo Day yesterday on The Social. Yeah so it took four weeks. Just four weeks and we were able to feature my favourite subject on the show and talk about how my poo comes out in pellets – and demonstrated their different pellet shapes with play-dough – because I’m chronically constipated. The suggestion: coconut oil. Am supposed to be starting the day with a spoonful of it. And I picked up my new favourite expression: Brown Star. Have you used your Brown Star today?

Today is my 40th birthday! I really hope I get to use my Brown Star on my 40th birthday. It’s a milestone number. Which is why I’m making such a big ass deal of it. But mostly, what’s great about my birthday is that it’s a day before Gwyneth’s. It’s like we’re celebrating together. Or at least I’m forcing myself on her on etalk tonight.

You know what would be an awesome birthday present? If someone would send me an advance copy of Allegiant. Too much?

Here’s a birthday tip, because I was warned about it by the Chinese Squawking Chicken, my ma, last night: I was born in the Year of the Ox. So no eating beef on my birthday. No eating myself on my birthday. If you were born in the Year of the Rooster, you should stay away from chicken on your birthday. Same goes for rabbit, goat (lamb applies), pig etc. If you’re having dinner with family, they shouldn’t either.

Also…don’t dress head to toe in black. Red for your birthday. Or gold. If you wear a black uniform, throw on a pair of red underwear.

Yours in gossip,


PS. Remember to send in your nominations for my vitaminwater #everydaybrilliance series. Is there someone in your life who’s so inspiring, s/he deserves the spotlight? Let me know at [email protected]. I’d love to interview them. Click here to read the profile on Kelley Robinson.