Gawker profiled The Delphian School today. It’s K-12, at $42,000 a year per student, even though it’s not yet accredited, though in the process, and was founded by Scientologists. The way the students themselves describe it, it’s like, um, Hogwarts for Xenu people. Click here to watch the promotional video and to read more about the curriculum. 

I like the part where they have to stare at each other for 2 hours. This explains a lot. Also, is a “wog” like a “Muggle”? Interesting strategy, non? To sell themselves as Harry Potter for real life? The Sea Org is the Ministry of Magic? Does that actually make Tom Cruise, like, an auror? This is a really fun game. Except for the part where people are actually living and paying for it every day. Chills, chills, chills.

Anyway, here’s Tom in Pittsburgh yesterday shooting One Shot as Jack Reacher in what looks like a muscle car because he’s tough and he don’t take no sh-t from no one and he’ll look you in the eye as he’s knockin’ you out, buster, and that’s the way a real man fights a fight. I dunno. You give me a name like Jack Reacher and you put Tom Cruise in the role and that’s the kind of dialogue I’m hearing in my head.