Two things are grossing me out. Two women are slumming.

JLo’s oversize basecap worn to the side lover Casper Smart tweeted the other day seemingly in the face of criticism from bitches like me about the fact that she’s romancing below her station:

Age, status, n opinions of others are irrelevant. Our hearts are endless and our souls infinite...........

Our ages are mere reminders of the hours logged on this earth and the precious time remaining.

We should all honor our time here by indulging our passion and dreams. So, close your ears and open your hearts; Love and be happy!

First of all, no. What is an endless heart? I don’t understand. Why do we insist on mashing words together that make no sense? Also, f-ck off with the “indulging of the passion and the dreams”. Indulging is EXACTLY the problem. There is too much of it. And not enough RESTRAINT. Restraint is criminally underrated. This is why so many people can’t pay off their credit cards.

But, you know, because she is a dumbass, JLo thought this sh-t was profound. So she retweeted it. And you know what retweeting means in our day and age? Retweeting means True Love. As I’ve said, so many times now, she’s not just f-cking him on the low, she’s declaring for him in the wide open. Like falling for the first back up dancer who comes along after a marriage is the only move available to her.

And then there’s Cameron Diaz.

Cameron Diaz hit up Soho House the other night and decided to dry-ride P Diddy. Describes a witness:

"Her hair was all crazy, her makeup was smeared and they made out in front of everyone. She was acting like a teenager!"

Just a few tables away, Leonardo DiCaprio was holding court. Dry-riding Leo I can accept, even encourage, but dry-riding P Diddy? Click here and picture her legs on either side of it. This is a woman in a desperate state. Dry-riding a has-been after getting dumped by ARod, is a sad, sad situation.

Two sad, sad situations.

If I were the Dean of the Faculty of Celebrity Studies at a liberal arts university somewhere in New England, this would be a second level course: The Misuse And Waste Of Fame And Actresses With Bad Taste In Men: Analysing The Worst Offenders.

Lecture 1: Jennifer Lopez.
Lecture 2: Cameron Diaz
Lecture 3: Halle Berry.