Brahma, the beer, paid for Jennifer Lopez plus several to be in Rio for Carnival. Plus several nowadays always includes the backup dancer. Because her life doesn’t exist without him until they marry and divorce.

If you’re Casper Smart, do you put it on your resume that you ARE, soon to be WERE, JLo’s boyfriend? Like Stacy Keibler and Elisabetta Canalis? I mean, that’s how Canalis ended up on Dancing With The Sh-ts. So in two years, when JLo has moved on to the maitre d’ at Eva Longoria’s restaurant, does Casper Smart get invited onto I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here with “comma, JLo’s ex” supered under his name? How’s that working out for Cris Judd?

PS. Tell me you caught Maya Rudolph’s back door slap on JLo’s slumming on Bronx Beat this weekend. “That 14 year old dancer roger rabbited his way into her heart. And he can wear the hell outta a baseball cap.” It’s a universal truth now, see? She found love in the f-cking dumpster.