This is James Blunt at the Brit Awards last night. Limp dick music, loin frightening teeth, and worse yet – bet you he’s an open mouther: one of those dudes who always walks around with his mouth slightly parted, you know those? Gross.

Even more gross – he gets girls. A lot of girls. Girls every night. Girls willing to ride it just because he’s a musician. This I’ve never been able to understand. F*cking some dude as soon as he says I Can Play Guitar…and it’s not like we’re dealing with a population that survives off the land either.

Back in the old days, if a hideous looking man had a cow or a few strong goats, I’d totally understand the attraction. But James Blunt? In modern times?

Never. Never for me.

Which brings us to a new edition of Would You Rather with nauseating Emmy Rossum:

Would you rather be friends with Emmy Rossum …or sleep with James Blunt?

Tough call. I need more time…

Photos from