I am a fickle bitch. Ordinarily this is not a particularly positive attribute but it can be quite useful when it comes to objects of fantasy. The whole point of a Freebie 5 is what happens with the unattainable quiver. They can’t unattainable quiver if they suck sh-t. Laura, my friend with the Robert Pattinson problem, is always pointing this out about me. “Lainey, you’re so fickle”. She says it like it’s an insult but secretly she’s jealous. She wishes she had my ability to throw obsessions aside so callously, and oftentimes based only on the most harmless line delivery, or maybe a bad haircut.

The point is…

I can get over it.

And after his chunky thigh problem on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago, I started getting over James Franco. It’s almost like he’s pushing me out the door.

These are the first stills released from Franco’s appearance on 30 Rock next week. He plays himself. And he’s fake-dating Jenna. And for some reason he and Liz Lemon are sharing pyjamas. And as you can see, in that shot of those pyjamas, he’s wearing boxer briefs underneath. And it’s those thighs again. In slippers.

F-ck.

That is some sick sh-t.

I will watch the episode. And if those thighs in motion are as bad as they are in photos … well… there’ll be an opening on the list.