Coincidence or conspiracy?

Janice Min declares a ban on Paris Hilton, People Magazine whips out its new cover: an exclusive with Hollywood Ebola complete with photo shoot and interview.

So now People Magazine is the prophet for the new Paris Hilton? If you are a subscriber to the magazine, you probably aren’t too impressed, are you?

And how changed can one person be if the first priority post-prison is to fix her weave and pose for a photo? Bitch… please.

Viruses like Paris only mutate towards the deadly side, viruses like Paris don’t suddenly transform into benevolent strains of goodness to heal the hurt.

As for that infamous illness – the one which necessitated home arrest after only 3 days in jail – she says it was “severe anxiety, panic attacks, claustrophobia."

Excuse me but the twat was in prison for f&ck’s sake. Did they expect her to levitate and sparkle? Isn’t everyone in prison suffering from the same? Isn’t that, like, the point???

Apparently not. Because poor Paris was curled up in the fetal position during her first few days in hysterics. And you are supposed to feel sorry for her. You are supposed to sympathise with her tragic situation. Because after 23 days, she went home to a Hollywood mansion as caterers delivered fine food and bagfuls of designer clothing for her inspection while a makeup artist and masseur were on stand by to paint and rub her pains away.

Because that is totally what other inmates get to look forward to when they get out, right?

Totally.

No change gossips. There is no change here. There will never be change. There will only be more destruction. This piece of sh-t will never die. Help us.

Interview excerpts below:

On her medical condition:
"The doctors were observing me while I was there. They explained to Sheriff [Lee] Baca that they thought I was having severe anxiety, panic attacks, claustrophobia."

On people who doubt that she will change after her jail experience:
"They"re wrong and they don"t know me. I"m a good person. I"m a compassionate person. I have a big heart. I"m sincere, and they"ll see."

On getting out:
"Just being able to hug my mom felt so great, and I really needed it "cause I haven"t had a hug in a long time."

Source People.com