It’s Fashion Week. And at the Calvin Klein show yesterday, four douches tryharded in the front row, creating a collective air of desperation that blanketed the clothes.

Let’s start from right to left. It’s Jared Leto, big ass poseur hair, pretending people still want to make movies with him. Next to him Chace Crawford, trying to age himself with some stubble, trying not to be the poor man’s TV Zac Efron, trying not to be Bailey Salinger. And then it’s Ryan Phillipe’s beat-me face. Isn’t that a beat-me face? So smug, like we’re back in 2002 and he and Reese are still kind of the same. Not the same at all. And finally Kellan Lutz whose hair problems extend beyond the bad wigs of Twilight into real life, who can’t even land a role that requires not much more than grunting (Conan the Barbarian), and who, in the ultimate of pathetic moves, on the level of Phoebe Price, actually POSED IN A TREE the other day pretending to read a book halfway through a walk with his dogs.

Oh look, the paps are following me. Let me just climb up on this branch and catch up on my book list. FONTRUM. SO MUCH FONTRUM. At this point, I can’t even see his face without feeling embarrassed for him. I’m on Kellan Lutz auto-cringe. Loser.

Photos from Johns PkI/