Forget first, I am not even the ten-thousanth person to say online that I loved Sassy, that it formed me and my views; one of the first ways it did was when I read the article about Jennie Garth and her then-husband, Daniel Clark, giggling over the “I hate Brenda”- zine. *

It blew my teenage mind. She was a teenager – a TV teenager, anyway – and she was MARRIED. How did she know how to do that?  (Oh, and you’re allowed to make fun of your celebrity coworkers?)

Many years later, my opinion hasn’t changed.  I still don’t know how a 22 year old knows how to do that.  Or how anyone knows, for sure, I guess. Garth married Clark at 22.  She divorced him two years later and got together with Peter Facinelli shortly afterward. They married in 2001.

Now Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli have filed for divorce.  

I mean, oh MAN. They’ve been together since….well,  at least 9 months before their oldest daughter was born, in 1997. Which… dude, will you look at her?  That is a tall, beautiful teen who I bet is looking for a film franchise of her own soon! I remember when this girl (that I don’t even know) was an infant!

It’s been almost 15 years.  And we can make a joke about how that’s eons in Hollywood time but…it’s eons in real time, too.  Think of yourself 15 years ago.  I’m not the same person.  Are you?

They said in 2008, when talking about how it was hard sometimes, that “Divorce is not an option”. (Source) I can completely understand nobody ever wanting to go through that twice. It’s kind of heartbreaking.  I think everyone thought that maybe this was one of those ones that would work. I don’t know why, but they/we/I did.  I didn’t even follow them closely – so why do I care so much? Or at all?

So…now what?  There’s always a “winner” in celebrity divorces, whether we like it or not.  In this case, winner meaning “the one who still works and shows up in PEOPLE”.  Back in the days of @taraariano’s Fametracker,  there’d be a “2 stars 1 slot”  article to see whose fame would reign supreme.  These days I hit up my bff IMDB.  Garth has a reality show coming out on CMT in April, “Jennie Garth: Little Bit Country”, about moving to a farm.  He has Breaking Dawn II, of course, and a “rumoured” role in an “announced” movie.  Oh, and the listed reality show “I Love Jennie”, on which he was going to be a producer, is, I suspect, scrapped.

I hate to call it so early on. But there are so many Peter Facinellis. So many pretty men of allllmost 40 who were 90’s-hot and are now, if they’re working at all, relegated to playing dads. Why’s he any different?  

And then of course there’s this blind item we’ve been getting emails about all day.  I mean, it could be anyone, right?  But…it doesn’t read like just anyone, you know?  If it’s even half true, well, I know where my success prediction is landing.  (Also, gross.)

To wit? I say America’s Beverly Hills Sweetheart is going to come out of this better than Facinelli will. After all, she still has that face. So…do we think she’ll get married again? Because it’s not fair to judge people by what they did 15 and 17 years ago, but at the same time, she strikes me as the type who likes being married.  Or who did.    

*If anyone feels like going into their mom’s attic and selling me this particular issue of Sassy, I’m a-buyin’.