As noted earlier, Jennifer Aniston and Justin Bieber have movies opening this weekend. Both attended their premieres last night too. Bieber was in LA on the carpet for Never Say Never. The Will Smith Family showed up too. And Miley Cyrus. And Selena Gomez.

Over in New York, Jennifer Aniston showed off her legs in a black dress with a sheer skirt. The transparency is sexy, I guess, but I’m not feeling the overall silhouette. It’s a little old lady-ish, non? Having said that, not much matters with her hair and her skin. She looks glorious. I keep trying this soft, sexy tousled sh-t with my own hair but it never works. Am currently thinking about my red carpet hair for our live Oscar show on February 27th. Any suggestions? Don’t want to wear it up. It’s too heavy. Also please don’t say a French twist. Like, ew.

As for Jen – well it’s heavy promotion right now in hopes for a box office winner, something that’s eluded her for a while. So of course People has her on its new cover with a brand new interview like an automatic invitation inside the home of every member of the MiniVan Majority. You know what they all want to hear. Disappointingly, she gave it to them:

"I think people honestly just want to see me as a mom and married and barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. And I just want to say, 'Everybody, relax! It's going to happen.' "

Is that how we see mothers, by the way? Married and barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?

See? This is why I keep calling her a cliché. She is a cliché who speaks in platitudes.

And it’s too bad. Because there’s another side of her that, if let out more often, is less lame than you think. She agreed to appear on Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis and … Tila Tequila. I mean, the joke is obvious, but there are some stars, especially stars of Jen’s stature, Julia Roberts for instance, who would REFUSE to come on a set with that kind of sh-t walking around. Really, can you blame them?

Jen on the other hand, she was up to the suggestion. That works for me. I like her for it. I’d like her more for it if it happened more often. But she’s so afraid to disappoint those people she ends up disappointing others. Like, I want to love you. I really, really do. Give me a reason, another reason like the Fern thing, tell me what you and Chelsea did after a bump with the really hot guy you picked up while waiting at valet, without balancing it with baby promises, and I’ll be right there. I promise.

Photos from and John Salangsang |LEP/ and Stephen Lovekin/Jemal Countess/