Never mind that as soon as she got tight with Jennifer Aniston, the quality of the guests on her show started improving. In their industry, you’re always trading up. In Chelsea’s case, trading up means softening out. So she didn’t ask Taylor Swift straight up if she and Jakey G are f-cking. And she didn’t go there with Gwyneth Paltrow about Madonna and Chris Martin and infidelity and girl sh-t. What she’s getting in return is bigger names, and therefore better ratings....

And an invitation to join Jennifer Aniston for Thanksgiving in Los Cabos, Mexico.

Now you know Chelsea enjoys her vodka, and probably a lot of other things that make her happy. And you know Jen has always enjoying getting happy too. So, in many ways, it’s the perfect new best friendship. Though Jen may publicly try to characterise it as all supportive and girly and loving and hugs and zen and burning incense, it’s much more likely that these two are burning something else. Which is great. No problem. Just... why not own that? If she owned that I’d be Aniston Fan #1.

But you know what I love?

You see that dude who’s with them? Several pap agencies were there shooting Jen and Chelsea in their matching purple bikinis and almost all of them, when captioning the pictures, are trying to sell it that Jen was with a “mystery man”, hugging and giggling and getting close.

I get it, you know, that you do what you have to to increase the value of your product. Sure. But at least be realistic about it, right?

Look at this Mystery Man.

You know.

I know.

This Mystery Man is not getting hard for Jennifer Aniston. You could rub cocaine on his dick he’s not getting hard for Jennifer Aniston. Or Chelsea Handler. Or Angelina Jolie for Christ’s sake. And you know I’m on Team Pap more often than I’m on Team Celebrity. But sometimes, especially when they do this sh-t, you wonder where the logic is.

PS. For those of you who’ve missed Chelsea Handler in Canada, she’s back on Monday when E! Canada officially launches.

Photos from and and